Christmas Drabbles
by BitterKanda
Summary: Christmas stories that have no correlation to each other. Rated T only for Language. Lavi/Kanda and Lavi/Kanda/Alma.
1. Space?

**Title:** Space?

 **Summary:** Fanfic for the dgmsecretsanta 2015 on tumblr. Kanda learns the true wonders of the Christmas spirit, courtesy of Lavi. Alien/Spaceship au

 **Rating:** K but Kanda Language

 **Fandom:** -Man

 **Pairing:** Lavi/Kanda

 **Words:** 2k+

 **AN:** I don't proofread much so more likely than not it has grammar errors, also this is all fluff all the time 

**Space?**

"Lavi, can you explain to me why you have leaves taped onto your doorway?" Kanda glared up at the plant as Lavi opened the door to reveal it. He would never understand Lavi and his human behaviors. He has met many humans while being aboard on this expedition but not one so ingrained with their odd customs.

"I'm glad you asked my love-"

"Don't call me that."

"-it is actually mistletoe, it's about Christmas time so I took to decorating my living space." Lavi smiled brightly and dramatically while stepping out to the side so Kanda could take a gander at his festive living quarters. Of which consisted of a foot tall plastic tree and lights taped crudely around the room. But worst of all Lavi was wearing the absolute worst sweater Kanda had ever seen, he wasn't even sure where he managed to get a hold of it on this ship. Most of the time Kanda figured Lavi was shitting with him anyway so he took to seeming completely uninterested with his antics.

"…Right. Well, this is for you to read over. It needs an accurate translation and our systems don't have a precise enough handle on the language it's written in." Lavi pouted and took the books out of Kanda's arms and threw them onto his mattress.

"Do you know how old those things are? Don't just throw them."

"Yeah yeah I got cha, I do this kinda stuff all time don't worry about it," Kanda was about to argue but Lavi cut him off, "Hey Yuu, how much do you know about Christmas?"

"Nothing, and I didn't come here to talk, you have work to do so get to it."

"Oh no you don't." Lavi grabbed his arm and pulled him into his room the second he started to turn to leave. Lavi pressed the button to close the door and ushered Kanda to take a seat on his bed.

"Fine, what's so special about this 'Christmas' and what's it got to do with greenery?" Lavi laughed to himself and sat at the head of the bed facing Kanda and brought his legs up to cross them. Lavi was very interested in Kanda, he was completely unfamiliar with his kind, which really took him by surprise because he could list a shit ton of intelligible life.

Kanda looked inherently human but he came from a planet with temperatures lower than any human could survive in, there wasn't a star close enough to bring any kind of warmth to it. And being adept to the impossibly cold climate and relatively no sunlight left Kanda with significant differences to humans. For one, he was almost paper white, most likely because he's never seen the light of day for entire generations. His eyes were similar to cat's eyes as they had to let in as much light as possible in order to see, which was pretty scary when they would get all black and Lavi has definitely seen that happen more than he would have liked. And his natural body temperature was so low he was cold to touch. Lavi has only touched him a handful of times and of that has only touched actual skin once. Which caught him off guard because he felt like an ice cube.

"Christmas isn't entirely about greenery but I guess it does play a significant part in the décor." Lavi scratched at his mouth while glancing over towards his poorly lit Christmas tree. Lavi was aware of Kanda's interests in plants, and well, anything that you can plant and grow. Kanda said it was because he has never seen it on his planet and it was really fascinating to him (in more of a Kanda dialect of course because the man has never admitted to liking anything in his life). Thus Lavi tried to play up his knowledge of botany, as limited as it was, he was historian not a gardener. Lavi stared back at Kanda who was starting to look uninterested so Lavi had to quickly come up with a plan to keep him from leav-

"Why do you always have to cut your plants?" Kanda asked looking at the mistletoe hanging from his door. His inquiry surprised him because he didn't realize how much he actually cared about plants. And thus Lavi got an idea.

"You don't have to worry about it Yuu, this plants is very very different than normal ones. It doesn't need to be planted to grow." Lavi stood from the bed and walked towards the mistletoe, feeling Kanda's eyes on him as he passed. Lavi leaned against the wall and motioned Kanda to stand next to him. He frowned but curiously followed. As he stood in front of him, Lavi pointed up towards the mistletoe above them and Kanda's eyes followed.

"For this special little number to grow all you gotta do is show some lovin." Kanda looked back down at Lavi and his frown deepened.

"What the fuck are you talking about."

"You basically gotta kiss under it."

"That's literally the stupidest thing you've ever said to me. And you've said some stupid shit."

"No! It's actually true! It's a big Christmas tradition to kiss under mistletoe it brings good spirits and makes it grow."

"Kissing doesn't make plants grow."

"And how do you know, you've never even heard of mistletoe before!" Kanda crossed his arms and grew angrier, "If you don't believe me you can ask Lenalee, she'll tell you how kissing under a mistletoe is completely a thing! I swear!"

"I still don't believe you, you always lie to me." Kanda shoved Lavi away to press the button to open the door and shut it behind him before Lavi could follow. And here Lavi had thought he had been very clever but perhaps Kanda is not as dense as he had anticipated.

The violent knocking almost caused him to fall out of his chair. He collected the books that fell onto the floor and placed them back on the desk before going to open it. Lavi had to force himself not to laugh when he saw Kanda's face.

"So what brings you back to these neck of the woods hon?" Lavi leaned on to the doorway and watched Kanda cross his arms and scowl at own shoes.

"I'm mad."

"I can see that."

"You always lie to me so how am I supposed to know when you tell the truth."

"Did you ask Lena about it?"

"Lenalee said that it was an actual tradition but she kept laughing about it when I told her what you said so you must have been lying about something."

"What did she say exactly?"

"That people did actually kiss under mistletoe and it was a normal thing to do. But she wouldn't really say anything more than that, she told me to ask you!" Lavi tried to keep a straight face while Kanda was talking because he was starting to get really passionate about it. Telling Kanda that kissing makes the mistletoe grow might have been a mistake, now he was generally confused on how it could possibly happen and if he found out that Lavi was lying he will definitely lose his head. But Lavi is not a man that fears death.

"You know… we could always test it out to see if it works." Kanda got very quiet, arms still crossed, he looked away then back at Lavi, then towards the floor, then up towards the mistletoe, then back at Lavi.

"That's… weird."

"You think everything is weird Yuu." Regardless of what Lavi believed Kanda was not stupid, he knew what Lavi was trying to do but it would bother him to no end if I did not. Find out. The truth. If he kissed him and it didn't grow then he would know Lavi was lying but then he would have kissed him and that would mean Lavi would have won. But if he didn't kiss him then there would be no way he would know for sure and Lavi certainly wouldn't admit to lying to him.

"I don't think-"

"YUU. What's the worst thing that could happen? Come here." Lavi pulled Kanda into his room and closed the door behind him. Kanda had backed himself onto the door and Lavi followed. They weren't touching but Lavi was definitely too close for comfort, "So do you want to do it or not? Just say yes or no."

Kanda was staring him in the eye as if he had been issued a challenge. It was incredibly intimidating but Lavi wasn't going to back down now, not after getting this far. So he stared back until Kanda had to fold.

"Fine." Kanda finally said after breaking eye contact. And Lavi wasted no time and quickly leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips, directly beneath the mistletoe. He hadn't wanted to break it so quickly but Lavi had forgotten how cold Kanda was and broke the kiss almost immediately. After he pulled away, Lavi lingered close to see what Kanda would do next. Without even touching Lavi could feel the cold that was radiating from Kanda's body, the man had never let him this close to him before to notice.

Kanda had kept his eye closed for a moment after the kiss broke and he slowly opened his eyes. Before Lavi knew what was happening he was pushed back, tripping over his bed and onto the ground as Kanda looked up to see any change in the mistletoe above.

"I knew you were a liar, nothing changed!" Lavi tried to pull himself off of the floor before responding.

"I didn't lie, you gotta give it some time to soak up the energy ya know, that's how plants work."

"Then how long does that take."

"I dunno, couple hours, but I guess we could help speed it up."

"How so? Oh no, no more kissing."

"Why not, you were into it before."

"I was not 'into it'. It was for science."

"Science my ass just let me kiss you again." Kanda was once again in between Lavi and the door, debating on pushing him back down or seeing how things would develop. Lavi had his body against Kanda, noses touching, waiting for Kanda to react. Kanda looked up to make eye contact and Lavi tried to keep his ground.

"Why are you so hot?"

"I really hope you meant what I think you mean."

"You're like a fucking space heater."

"I knew it was too good to hope for."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hot is a homonym in which it can- oh never mind. And I'm not hot, you are literally below freezing."

"That is untrue, I am generally around 15 degrees Celsius while living aboard this ship. It's always so hot here so I have to stay this temperature."

"Are you saying you can control your body temperature?"

"Well, no, not exactly. This is my natural body temperature, but it rises depending on how cold it is"

"Could you make your body hotter right now?"

"Yeah if you wanted me to fucking die. I've never had to live in temperatures above 10 degrees, if I get any warmer I'll probably die from a heat stroke." The mistletoe that was above them slowly started falling as the tape Lavi used to keep it up started peeling off the wall. It landed right on Kanda's nose and he managed to catch it before it fell onto the ground.

"This isn't even fucking real, it's plastic!"

"Now now Yuu, there's no need to get angry about it, we were just having a bit of fun." Lavi backed away before Kanda really decided to hit him. He was pretty much seething with rage, crushing the poor mistletoe in his hand, "this really is all on you anyhow, where do you think I would even get real mistletoe from here? You should have realized sooner."

"You got to be fucking kidding me, you asshole." The crushed mistletoe hit Lavi right on the nose after Kanda threw it at him. "You better have those giant ass books translated by tomorrow or I'm throwing all of your shit into the trash compactor."

Kanda had left hurriedly, most likely out of embarrassment. Lavi would have been more amused by the situation if Kanda had not threatened him with that before, that's how he lost his lucky bandanna and he didn't feel like losing anymore of his clothing to an enraged Kanda.

 **AN:** Next up is the always appropriate coffee shop au (Lavi/Kanda/Alma)


	2. Coffee for Coffee's Sake

**Title:** Coffee for Coffee's Sake

 **Summary:** Kanda and Lavi are both Awkward baristas and Alma doesn't really help the situation. Coffee shop au

 **Rating:** K but Kanda says some bad words ya know

 **Fandom:** -Man

 **Pairing:** Lavi/Kanda/Alma but mostly Lavi/Kanda

 **Words:** 2.5K+

 **AN:** this one is is dialog heavy because that's all I know how to write… but coffee shop au! And minimal proofreading as always. Plus a bonus Kanda/Alma text convo at the end

 **Coffee for Coffee's Sake**

"If you put another goddamn heart on the coffees I swear to god I am going to castrate you."

"That's a little dramatic don't cha think? And people like my lil hearts, you're just jealous I haven't made one for you yet."

"I don't give a fuck about you giving out your heart coffees but if I'm the one that has to hand it to them don't do it, it confuses people." Kanda was referring to the customer that he nearly made cry after rejecting taking her phone number. Lavi had come to quickly salvage the situation but the poor girl didn't leave the shop with her head held high.

"That was a onetime thing Yuu-poo I promise! And get back to work we're getting a line!" Kanda huffed but dropped the subject in favor of keeping his job, but not before kicking Lavi for calling him 'Yuu-poo'. The Christmas season had always brought more customers into the coffee shop. Mostly because the local Starbucks would get so crowded that everyone in there was packed like sardines. Having a Starbucks so close usually hurt business but Christmas generally helped bring it back up.

Lavi had always fantasized about working in a coffee shop. He's read enough books and seen enough movies to know any and all coffee shop tropes ever to exist. Now he wasn't expecting a coffee shop romance to suddenly occur but he wasn't about to lose hope just yet.

The coffee shop was generally quiet and Lavi had come quite often in his college days when he needed copious amounts of caffeine and free Wi-Fi. He would often pay for 10 coffees up front and have one of the baristas fill up his coffee the second it emptied, as to not break concentration.

That was how he first met Kanda. Lavi had gone to the shop later than usual and the nice girl that usually filled his coffee had just finished her shift. So Lavi had tried to ask Kanda if he would fill the coffees for him but he outright refused. Something about 'You can get off your ass if you want another damn coffee I'm not paid to coddle'.

That day was when Lavi decided he was going to start coming over during this man's shift instead. Because wow? This man was extremely hot but also he could probably kill him one handed which was for some reason also hot. Perhaps if Lavi had thought harder about what that meant he wouldn't have felt inclined to get closer to the man.

Imagine Kanda's surprise (anger) when he found out that Lavi ended up applying to work there as well, Kanda had almost quit there and then. He wasn't allowed to however because he was working there as a favor for the manager (Lenalee) so she forced him to put his apron back on and get back to work, with his new coworker obviously.

Kanda, of course, would have tried switching shift schedules but he worked two jobs and switching schedules for both would have been too much of a hassle than Lavi was worth. Lavi accounted it to his dashing smile and charming personality but that was neither here nor there.

"Lavi switch with me already."

"I cannot, we are too busy and it takes too much time to switch who is registered to the cash register."

"If you had just done it instead of talking it would have been done already."

"Hush Yuu, customers!" The second time today Lavi shut him down and Kanda was not about to let him get a third. Working at the cash register was usually Lavi's job, being better at customer service as he was, but Lavi got in later than him so he was the one who registered on it. Kanda thought he was better at making the coffees than Lavi anyway but Lavi would disagree, his coffees are 'made with love'.

"Good afternoon Yuu! I came to see you after I got off work!" Kanda turned back to the register to see Alma leaning on the counter and smiling brightly.

"Oh hey, I thought you got off at 6?" Kanda asked while punching in Alma's usual order.

"Naw, my boss actually likes me and let me off early. And add another coffee on there, the peppermint one please!" Alma clapped his hands together as he said 'please'.

"Ok whatever. And my boss does like me, she just doesn't tolerate my bullshit."

"So you admit you bullshit your way through this job? I heard Lena was thinking about firing you anyway." Lavi chimed in from behind while going to make Alma's order.

"Shut it, no one was talking to you." Kanda shot him a quick glare before turning back to Alma. Lavi noticed Alma leaning over the counter even further to whisper something in Kanda's ear before being pushed back and-and wait… was that a blush? Why was he blushing? Kanda doesn't even know how to blush! Or at least that was what Lavi had always believed.

Alma had turned to Lavi and smiled and Lavi realized he was staring so he smiled back and returned to making the coffees.

"Here ya go bud, your coffees." Lavi placed the two cups onto the counter and Alma thanked him and picked one up.

"What, did you already get tired of making the heart already?" Kanda said almost jokingly, if he ever actually told jokes.

"No, I just save my heart for the cute girls that walk in." Lavi flicked Kanda on the shoulder and Kanda sneered at him.

"Hey! I'm just as cute as any girl here!" Alma pouted and stuck his tongue out at Lavi before pushing the coffee he left on the counter towards Kanda, "Here you go Yuu, for your very merry Christmas!"

"Tch, whatever, just go home already."

"I know you like peppermint so just accept my gift! I'll be on my way then, you two have fun!" Kanda rolled his eyes but did accept the gift. Lavi however could not get the blush out of his head. And as Kanda brought the hot coffee to his nose to smell briefly before bringing it to his lips to drink Lavi knew the end of times were upon them because he had just witnessed a smile on Kanda Yuu's face. Lavi was glaring at Kanda when he had finally put the god forsaken cup down to continue with work.

"What's with that face?"

"Oh nothing, I was just- observing."

"Observing what?"

"Nothing." Kanda squinted at him but then decided to just ignore Lavi's attitude. Lavi was unusually quiet for the rest of their shift to the point where Kanda was starting to get uncomfortable. He figured that Lavi was deep in thought about something but wasn't sure what it could be about. Maybe it was Alma but he had always gotten along with Alma before so?

"So… are you working Christmas Eve too?" Kanda attempted to be friendly, in which he really should get a medal, or a pat on the back, because he never felt the need to be before.

"Huh, oh yeah, I don't celebrate Christmas so I don't mind working the holidays."

"You don't celebrate it? But you were the one that decorated the entire shop.."

"Yeah I like the whole spirit of Christmas but I don't celebrate it. Do you? You are also working tomorrow."

"Yeah I guess, I just go to my da-Tiedoll's for Christmas, he won't let me get out of it."

"Nice to know you celebrate with your family instead of brooding at home."

"I don't brood…" They were silent for a moment, taking care of customers and coffee, making minimal eye contact, and being awkward with each other for entirely different reasons.

"…What about Alma?"

"What about him?"

"Does he celebrate the holidays with you?"

"Yeah he comes over too." Lavi grimaced slightly but made sure Kanda couldn't see. Of course Alma went over to spend Christmas together, at Kanda's parent's house. How chummy, how very chummy. Lavi was not in the least bitter he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.

"He comes over to your dad's house for Christmas? What about his family?" Lavi was just asking simple questions, nothing to insinuate that he might be a bit too invested in the answers to come. Lavi muttered curses under his breath as he cleaned up one of the coffees he just made that he accidentally dropped on the floor.

"He's not actually my dad. And Alma doesn't like visiting his family much so Tiedoll invites him over."

"I see…"

"What? It's not that strange. Everybody comes over, Lenalee too, with her crazy brother."

"Is he the one that owns the place?" Lavi looked up from being bent over on the floor, "Yeah, I remember him. He almost cut off my hand when I first met Lena just because I shook her hand. Not too fond of a memory…"

"He does that with everyone that meets her." They were in that time of day where there were little people entering the shop and little people that lingered. Meaning there was nothing else to do but talk and clean.

"I…" Kanda quickly shut his mouth before he said anything else.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing." Kanda left to clean up emptied tables and Lavi started cleaning up the counter area. It was nearing the end of their shifts and Lavi still wasn't sure of where Kanda's and Alma's relationship stood. Kanda came back shortly after cleaning with a sour look on his face.

"What's up man, did you eat something bad? Did someone leave gum under the table again? Because I always end up getting my hand-"

"What? No. I was just thinking about…" Kanda got quiet again and Lavi decided to make it his mission to get him to spill. So he sat on the countertop that Kanda was wiping down and slid over towards him.

"Thinking about what love?"

"Tch, don't be annoying, then I definitely won't ask."

"Ask what? I want to know!"

"It's just.."

"Hmmmmm?"

"Hmph. I wanted to know if you wanted to come over. For Christmas. There." Kanda threw the rag he was holding over Lavi's face and walked away, "I'm going to the back to restock on… cookies…"

Lavi had taken the rag off his face and watched Kanda as he left. He attended to a small line of customers as he waited for Kanda to return. It had been about fifteen minutes before Lavi had decided Kanda had been gone too long. It didn't take much effort to unbox the cookies, even with taking inventory. Lavi figured that the café was quiet enough for him to go back in search of Kanda, so he headed back to see what he was up to.

The door to the backroom quickly opening caused Kanda to jump from the boxes he was sitting on in surprise. Lavi just as quickly closed the door behind him. He looked over at where Kanda stood and noticed how he had taken his apron off and had it wringed in between his hands.

"So… How are the cookies going?"

"They're ready. I'll take them out now." Kanda was about to pick up the box of sweets but took out his phone instead after feeling it vibrate in his back pocket. Lavi walked up behind him as he was texting back to try to sneak a peek.

"'I know that ur super into him and how could he not-'"

"DON'T FUCKING READ IT." Kanda punched Lavi in the chest and quickly put his phone away back in his pocket.

"Are you texting Alma? Are you 'super' into me Yuu?"

"What's wrong with you? Go away." Lavi was actually genuinely excited but perhaps he came across a bit more 'insensitive'.

"I'm sorry Yuu, im not trying to be mean or anythin'. Ya know, I'd really like to spend Christmas with you. If your offer still stands." Kanda was still visibly mad but slowly started to calm down. He had his arms crossed and let out a large sigh before responding.

"Yes. It does."

"Cool…" They were once again standing and waiting for the other person to speak. Kanda put back on his apron and Lavi shuffled his feet a bit, "So um, are you and Alma?"

"…Yes."

"What?"

"Yes…"

"Oh?"

"And?"

"But you're also 'super' into me?"

"Those are his words not mine stop using them." Kanda had to stop himself from actually getting angry, "…I can be into… more than one person."

"I suppose so." Kanda avoided eye contact but glanced back at Lavi a couple times and would quickly look back away. Lavi sighed as a wave of relief overcame him, "Phew this was a relief though. Because I thought you dating him would be a big reject for me and when he came over today and was all like whispering in your ear an' all I truly felt like a goner. What was he all whispering in your ear anyway? Because you were all blushing afterwards."

"God shut up already…" Lavi kept poking him in the sides in order to get him to answer, "Alma had simply asked me to talk to you, basically."

"And that caused you to blush red like a lil cherry tomato?"

"No. Alma just used a more... colorful vocabulary…"

"What? What did he say!" Lavi resorted to full on assault and left his poking tactic behind.

"Get off me!" Kanda fought to get Lavi off of him and started regretting even giving this fucker a chance.

"What are you guys doing in here!? We have customers you know!" Manager Lenalee had stormed in, completely ignoring the fact that Lavi was literally draped over Kanda and pulled both of them out towards front to deal with the line that had formed while they were gone. Once everything had settled down again Lenalee had informed them that both of their shifts were over.

"Hey Kanda, did you ask Lavi over yet?"

"What? I- how did you know I was going to do that?"

"Alma had told me to check earlier, I assume you did because of what I saw in the storage room?"

"That wasn't anything. Goddamn it I'm leaving. Tell Alma to fuck off."

"I'll let him know, have a nice night Kanda!" Lenalee waved as he walked off and turned her attention over to Lavi, "He did talk to you right? You can't really trust him to do anything relatively nice."

"Oh yeah he definitely did some talking, had to work for it though."

"Don't we all." Lenalee laughed before ushering him out of the shop, "Now go home Lavi, you've been here long enough. And I'm very excited to be having you over for the holidays. Tiedoll is very excited to meet you!"

"He knows about me?"

"Yes, Kanda was supposed to ask you out over a week ago but he never got around to it apparently. Alma has been the one talking about you though and Tiedoll was very intent on meeting you."

"That is a good thing I suppose?"

"Yes! I know you two will get along, he loves everyone." Lenalee's smile reassured him and Lavi left feeling ten times better than when he arrived in the morning. And one day Kanda will think fondly back on that day as well.

 **AN:** here's a nice lil excerpt i wrote for myself but thought it was too long to put in the fic (it's kanda and alma's text conversation) Please tell me if there were any glaring mistakes in this fic thanks!

 **Kanda: you're ideas are always fucking bad**  
Alma: what did u do yuu?  
 **K: i.. talked to him**  
A: with words hon? and coherent sentences?  
 **K: shut tf up this is ur fault..**  
A: calm down, i bet i can salvage the situation, Lavi is a reasonable man  
 **K: reasonable my ass and stop making me go through with ur stupid ideas**  
A: babe ur the one that likes him sm im just trying to give you a lil push push nugdge nudge ;)  
 **K: st fuck up ur bad for my health**  
A: calm down and tell me what he said  
 **K: he hasn't really said anything yet**  
A: then how do u know it went bad?  
 **K: bc i know ok**  
A: u did you even get an answer from him yet? what did u actually ask?  
 **K: i asked him to come over for christmas**  
A: oh hon u are too cute he's not going to say no to that go talk to him he totally likes u too'  
 **K: whatever u dont even know u only talk to him when u come over after work'**  
A: i know that ur super into him and how could he not be super in to you? he's managed to ignore ur many many insults hes perfect for u  
 **K: omfg why do i even bother with u**


End file.
